Choosing this special girl can be a difficult process if you’re surrounded by wonderful friends whom you love dearly, but it should ultimately be a decision that feels right.
If you already have someone in mind, perhaps your closest friend or a sister, then the hardest part is probably done. If you’re still unsure or you want to be absolutely certain you’re making the right decision, this is when practicalities should be considered.
The first being how close you actually are to this person? Your maid of honour should be someone you feel very close to and whom you think knows you the best (other than your partner, of course). It’s important to be able to read each other, gauge emotions and know when you need to take a timeout as you’ll be spending a lot of time together and don’t want to end up bickering. You should be able to envisage them in your life for years to come and trust their decision-making and reliability. On the subject of reliability, good time keeping is essential: if they’re always late to everything… think twice!
Secondly, avoid the drama. The spotlight should always remain on the bride and not subject to temper tantrums from an over dramatic chief bridesmaid. This role requires someone with a reasonably thick skin who can take charge and manage elements of the day that the bride doesn’t have time to deal with herself. The term ‘bridezilla’ exists for a reason, don’t try to fool yourself that you won’t be one of them but pick someone who can slap you back into reality (not literally) and get over it.
Let’s be honest, the maid of honour role isn’t for someone who doesn’t enjoy the thought of planning or spending every Saturday for the next 6 months being paraded around bridal-wear shops. You’re going to need support and attention from this girl (or boy, if you’re going down the ‘man of honour’ route) and that’s quite a lot to ask of one person. Likewise, it’s going to take up a lot of their time so consider their own personal circumstances before expecting them to devote every spare hour to your wedding planning needs. Does it put them in a difficult position trying to juggle their personal life and your bridal demands and do they actually have enough spare time to focus on you?
Lastly, you’ll want someone who will support your decision-making, offers an honest opinion but does not influence decisions in their preference.
Once you’ve chosen your best girls, be sure to read up on our article based around ten jobs to delegate to your wedding party, for further inspiration.