Cringe-worthy first dance song choices that you won't actually believe have been played at weddings
You may be reading this title wondering ‘how on earth could there possibly be a bad choice for a first dance song?’ You’d argue that couples choose their music together and the first dance will hold certain significance for them as a couple and their relationship. Whilst I am certainly not disagreeing, it is an undeniable fact that a very small percentage of couples will also choose their first dance song on the basis of the title, the lyrics in the chorus or the speed of the music and at the same time commit an unforgivable faux pas.
Still don’t believe me? Well, maybe the list the below will help me prove my point. This selection of songs, ranging from the cringe worthy to the just-plain-awkward, were played at ACTUAL weddings.
You’ve had a lovely day. The ceremony was a gushy one, the wine is flowing, the meal was filling and you’re ready to let your hair down. The newlyweds step onto the dance floor, taking each other’s hands and pulling each other closer. The music starts and after a few bars, you notice the odd awkward glance between guests. Then you realise what the song is…
Always (Bon Jovi) – ‘And I will love you baby - always and I’ll be there forever and a day’. A drop dead gorgeous man declaring his undying love for his drop dead gorgeous girlfriend… who has just left him… for another man. ‘When he holds you close, when he pulls you near, when he says the words you've been needing to hear. I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine. To say to you till the end of time’
Suspicious minds (Elvis Presley) – The title here is usually the big giveaway but people are suckers for a bit of Elvis. I suppose there is the one romantic line ‘because I love you too much baby’
I will always love you (Whitney Houston) – One of the biggest power ballads of all time and for a while, one of the most popular first dance songs. What could be more romantic than Whitney belting out at the top of her lungs that she’ll always love you? Um… the fact that it’s a break-up song? Ok, ok so we all know in the film she can’t live without Costner… but it wasn’t written for the film… ‘So goodbye, please don’t cry. We both know, I’m not what you need.’
As long as you love me (Backstreet Boys) – A song about love at first sight or a song about how all your friends are telling you not to fall in love with a potential convict but either way you don’t actually care who they are? Deep.
How do I live? (Leann Rimes) – Another massive hit in the late 90’s with Leann Rimes declaring that she couldn’t live without you. ‘I need you in my arms, need you to hold, You’re my world, my heart, my soul. If you ever leave, baby you would take away everything good in my life’ Notwithstanding the somewhat desperate neediness this song conveys, it is somewhat dark and oh, essentially another breakup song!?
Anything by Chris Brown – Just. No.
Every breath you take (The Police) – Yeah.. this isn’t a love song. It’s a song about stalking. ‘I’ll be watching you’… nuff said!
Separate ways (Journey) – Everyone loves a bit of ‘Journey’ at a wedding… although it’s probably better keeping to ‘Don’t stop believin’ later on in the evening. Again, the title gives it away… WHY??
My heart will go on (Celine Dion) – Rose and Jack, the love story of the century. I can hear a sigh from the hopeless romantics amongst us as they reminisce about how much they cried the first time they saw that film in the cinema. EXACTLY. You cried. You were a gibbering wreck. The love of her live freezes to death. ‘Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on’. You’re standing right in front of each other… well, hopefully.
Careless whisper (George Michael) – I know, right? Starts off with a sexy, sultry saxophone… this would make a HOT first dance song. Hang on, doesn’t he cheat on her? Then she cheats on him? Oh.